You likely pass by many strangers as you go about your day. But I’m sure you’ve had the experience of walking by someone who decided to say “Hello.” Maybe they hold the door for you when it wasn’t obvious to do so. But it could even just be a simple smile with an acknowledgement.
They didn’t have to do that. And yet they did. They decided to do something more than what is expected of them. And they weren’t expecting anything in return. But it sure had some effect. Because you felt just a bit better after that interaction
Connection today is more important than ever. And in order to connect, we have to go above and beyond what is expected of us. But it’s not simple when we’ve been trained to be mechanic. We’re going to have to learn to go back to being more human.
Replaceable Parts
Replaceable parts were likely one of the greatest inventions of mankind. Before, each nut could only be fit into one bolt in the world. Imagine that. It’s because there was no standardization at all into how they were made. Each connection was handcrafted in its own way, in a separate process from all the others.
But the discovery of replaceable parts meant that every nut could fit with every bolt. It meant on the battlefield you can easily fix something if it broke. It meant in the workforce that you would never be reliant on one type of machinery. It was great. One could almost wonder how we advanced without it.
But now we’ve upgraded our systems. Now, as Seth Godin points out, we have replaceable people.
Education standardized how people can operate. We all have a base level of knowledge required of us. We constantly feel like we should fit in so that we can show our work properly with a high level of efficiency. That means trying to find instructions to follow maximally.
And if all we do is follow instructions, someone else can do it too. That makes us replaceable. It means if I can put a label on you, I can find someone else with that label for the job.
So what do we do to break out of this?
Emotional Labour
Imagine walking up to a barista at a coffee shop and being greeted with a warm welcome. She asks for your name and order. She’ll infer that your want a good amount of whipped cream. After that she’ll describe how she’ll make your coffee with extra whipped cream, nutmeg on top, and believes you’ll love it.
Most of all, she’ll finish by saying “I want you to continue on with your day and enjoy it. And when you’re back here, tell me all about it.”
Ryan Estis gave a talk where he recounted this exact story. And when he asked the barista how she was able to build such a connection over serving coffee, the barista responded, “I don’t serve coffee, I pour happiness.”
This is emotional labor. It’s not about what you create. It’s not how amazing your drawings or music or craft is. It’s an emotional transaction. It’s the way you are willing to touch those around you, even as just a barista. So that they can feel changed by your interaction. And possibly remember you as well.
It means deciding to go out of your way to help someone. Provide them value. Give generously without expectations. Because if you did have expectations, it wouldn’t have been emotional. It would have been that shrugged smile from a passer-by with no purpose behind it. A machine could have done it.
Go the extra mile to see what you have to offer beyond what is expected. And the world will likely respond back with a warm smile on its part.
Your Creation
I’ll close with a story that I read from the book Linchpin. It’s Van Gogh sitting on a train one evening. He’s approached by a stranger who adores his drawings. But he tells him his wife does not like his art. He says that she wanted to ask him “Why do you paint things so strangely? Why can’t you just paint things as they actually look like?”
Van Gogh responded, “Hm, interesting. May I see what your wife looks like?” And the man pulls out a picture of his wife. And he exclaims, “Wait, but your wife here is so small and flat!”
Van Gogh’s purpose was not to replace the camera. It was to show others how he saw the world. What is the unique way you see the world? How do you come up with solutions to interesting problems? How can you affect others?
Your creation is your creation. And your art won’t be obvious. But it’s a risk to take in order to be less mechanic and be more human for others.
