“How long does it take to form a habit?”
We usually believe in 21 days required to make a lifestyle change. But perhaps it’s better to ask what the question even means. What’s the difference between going to the gym for 5 days versus 21 days? What happens when we cross that threshold of forming a new habit?
Absolutely nothing. We continue as before. And we aren’t planning stopping now that it’s a part of our lives. But we weren’t planning on stopping in the beginning either.
What we mean when we ask this question is, when does it get easy?
It is true that our brain works to make parts of our lives more and more automatic. But that process isn’t based on days. It’s based on frequency. It’s based on consistency. It’s based on how often you show up. So the more often you do something, twice or even thrice a day, the more likely it will become automatic.
So the 21 days thing was a lie. But then what does it mean to have it be automatic? It’s still a pain for me to move myself to the gym after all.
The truth is a habit is never formed. It’s always a choice of consistently. The choice itself may get more thoughtless, just like you don’t decide whether you’re going to brush your teeth anymore. But you still have to brush for 2 minutes, or work out for an hour, or whatever else you want to do.
The habit is only the choice, not the action. So stop worrying about when it gets easy or when you’ve cemented it. That’s for other people. All you have to do is show up. And if you keep showing up from day 2 onwards, the habit is already there.
