“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” – Friedrich Nietzsche
When I was younger, one of the toughest things for me was trying to start an exercise routine. I’d keep telling myself this time I would do it. That I’d commit to exercising an hour a day and getting on a diet. And when I started, I was ready to take on any challenge in front of me. Ready to look fit and lean for everyone to see.
But come two weeks, there I was sitting down and watching YouTube at the time I should’ve been working out. By then the thought that I should be working out was already erased from my mind. Since I’d seen no new results yet, there wasn’t really much to keep me going on as it got difficult. And this cycle would only continue every few months.
Until now, where I’ve consistently been focused on my nutrition and exercise daily for more than two years. So what changed?
The Golden Circle
In one of the most viewed TED talks in the world, Simon Sinek breaks down what he believes to be the key factors of inspiration in business leaders. What he’s noticed is that there’s this circle of strategies used that start out from what the company provides. Then it goes deeper into how the company differentiates themselves. And finally it hones in at the deepest level of why the company is creating their products or services [1].
Most companies advertise what they are making. But Sinek noticed that the highest performing companies and leaders in the world articulate why they do it. They tend to have a belief system guiding their actions. Then the company is no longer defined by the product, but the mission they’re on. Because of this, people don’t buy the product, but the message they are selling.
This seems to be a basic observation. Of course a why is more important than a what. But we often confuse the two. For me, it was believing that the point of exercising was to look good. If I just did it, I’d get the body I desired in no time to show off. At the time that seemed a why enough to me. But that’s the same as saying you’ll start a company to make money. What’s going to happen when you aren’t making money and face challenges as are inevitable? You quit. There was no defined mission, just some arbitrary goal I wanted to reach. There was no deeper connection as to why I was doing it. So I quit when I wasn’t seeing results.
Identity Crisis
There was a certain point where I truly believed that getting fit soon was nearly impossible. No results were showing up and I was getting severely demotivated. But this actually turned out to be a key insight.
When I decided to pick up exercising one more time, I kept this in mind. I told myself that I would not see any fruits of my training for even a year or two. That there would be no change to look in the mirror until way down the line. And this wasn’t just me pretending. I truly believed that getting a fit body was so far down the road that I might as well close my eyes for two years.
But I decided to exercise anyways. Why? Because I told myself, “Well the least I can do is stay healthy.” And that was it. Every day I just kept asking myself, “What should I do to be a healthy person?” This meant daily exercise and eating proper nutrition. Exactly what you need to eventually be fit and lean in the long-run. But I wasn’t worrying too much about the results. Any challenges I faced weren’t a concern. I just knew I had to overcome them to make sure I stayed a healthy person. And since then exercise and nutrition has become part of my daily lifestyle.
James Clear discusses habit formation with nearly the same circles as Simon Sinek’s brand analysis. We can decide to change behaviors for an outcome, for a process, or for an identity. And these identity-based habits happened to be the deepest layers of habit formation. This is because actions are guided by a system of beliefs, not simply destinations to be reached [2]. Thus it is crucial to have a belief about who you are if you want to effectively act differently. This is exactly the “why” we are looking for.
And from my personal experience, I believe the key component of identity-based habits is that you’re always winning. There’s no point that decides your success or failure. You’re not limited by outside conditions or challenges. The internal process of your identity is simply a choice. No matter where you’re at and how far along you are compared to others, the choice to be this identity subsequently means you are reaching your goal. Because that is the goal.
We’re always deciding things to change in our lifestyles, even in the short-term. Whether it is exercise, learning, etc., take a moment away from the goal you are trying to reach. Instead, identity the type of person you are trying to become. And once you aim to become that person, your progress will take care of itself.
[1] How Great Leaders Inspire Action | Simon Sinek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qp0HIF3SfI4
[2] Atomic Habits – James Clear
